My friends from one of the colleges I went to came to the house today. One of the things we've discussed was about how my friend, Mench, would like to file for an annulment. My other friend, Ruby, said that she has learned to live with the thought that her husband has left her and would like to have an annulment too but that she wants him to pay for it. Whew, tough luck for my friends. I'm glad I'm not in the same boat. But you never really know what will happen to you unless you are there in that situation.
Probably, the question is how to choose a life partner. Not necessarily a husband, but someone you are willing to spend your life with and who is equally willing and able to spend his whole life and person with you. I wish there was a book that would tell exactly how it is. Or perhaps, an order slip where you have a checklist of the things you want in a person and send it to the company to assemble one for you. But no, it just doesn't work that way.
I believe you should have an ideal. But make no mistake about it. You won't get your ideal. That would be too much to ask. You can only get part of what your model has because there are no 2 persons in this world who are exactly alike. You'd have to identify which qualities you like in that person. when you have about 1/3 of the qualities, then you probably have a good person.
The qualities should not be contradicting. Don't say, "I want to have a person who is fond of life" and then later get mad when that person says he wants to go out so often. Or don't say "I want to have someone who knows how to handles finances" and get upset when that person doesn't buy the things you like. He or she just probably doesn't think it is wise to spend on it. That's just not it. YOu have to be sure about what you want.
Look at how that person is in relation to his or her family. When someone is a good son or daughter, there's a pretty good chance he'll be good to yours too. Or, if that person is someone the family depends on, he'll most likely be a responsible spouse and parent too. But, when choosing this type of person, better beware because you might end up having trouble with your in-laws! It's like taking away from them someone who provides food on their table. haha!
I would say ambition will have a pretty big role in your choice too. If the person is overly ambitious, there might be no room for you or your children in his life. If the person does not have any ambition than to stay beside you forever, this person will end up obsessive. so, there should be some balance. It might feel sweet to have that someone around at first. But not if you have to be around him every single minute of let's say 50 years or so!
The real secret to having the best Spouse or Life Partner is to pray. We may not understand His Wisdom but one thing is certain, when you love the Lord and pray to Him, He will give you what is best for you. That I am pretty sure of.