Saturday, April 30, 2011
Dating Daughter - Will You Say No?
The scenario is that your daughter is asking your permission to go on a date for the first time. She's 17. Will you allow her?
Let me qualify my answer. I firmly believe children should be given freedom to make decisions and choices. However, that should not prevent us parents from giving them advices. If you don't allow them, you also curtail your chance to guide them.
Chances are, when teens are not permitted to do something, they hide their activities from their parents. When they hide things from us, we can't tell them what to do nor how to react. But when they do tell us because we have allowed them, then we are able to give them their limitations.
I think many people find our style of discipline to be odd. However, when it comes to our children, I guess I have a better relationship with mine - we about a lot of things even about her crushes and all, we enjoy each other's company, I know her friends, and my daughter does know how to handle situations quite maturely than most of her peers. Even her friends' parents trust her. They normally allow their children to leave when she's in the group.
She's 17 and according to Freud, Piaget and some other psychologists, they will be attracted to the opposite sex at this stage. Thus, it is for us parents to know how to guide and regulate their activities. Better to say yes and put limitations than to say no and be cheated by them, right?