They're At It Again! - Bringing Things to School

Don't you hate it when your kid has to bring heavy stuff to school? I do for the primary reason that my daughter has scoliosis. Needless to say, it is of utmost importance for a school to have its own facilities which the students can and will use during their activity. However, because my daughter goes to a public school (Pasig City Science High School), it doesn't have as much facilities as private schools do. (How on earth did they make it to the no. 1 spot in the 2008-2009 NAT for Pasig and San Juan?).

Yup, you got it. She is a scholar and goes to a science high school but they are not provided with the equipment they need. Like last night she blurted out that she had to bring a yogurt starter, a glass pot and a rubber cooking spoon, and a pitcher just to make yogurt. At other times she brings her speakers and laptop to do a presentation because there aren't any at school and there is only 1 other person in her class who has a notebook. Not to mention the numerous times she had to bring other things, not too cheap mind you, just to complete her school requirements.

But then, who am I to complain? My daughter attends school for free yet gets the best education available, she has a teeny weeny stipend, and all other things provided. My point is this. I keep hearing parents complain about how expensive it is to do a project or contribute for this and that in school. Yes, our kids go to a public school where 90% of the children are from families who are at the poverty line. Yes, they are there because they had strived hard. And yes, we should think that they should be provided with everything that they need, that we should not lift a finger to help them... NOT!

Of course not. At least not to me, that is. I mean I can't lie around and watch my daughter skip the learning that she can get because the school cannot provide for the equipment that they need while one such tool sits around in a corner of my house. Would you? No way jose! If we must let our children learn, we let them maximize whatever they should get while they're at it. If they miss that chance now, the next opportunity for them to encounter such would be in college where the teachers no longer closely supervise the students. Education is a partnership of the school and the home. Let's give them that edge because they worked so hard to get to where they are now. Let's give them the support that they need as much as we can afford. I'm pretty sure they'd thank us for doing so.

Keeping my Teenager Happy and Homebound

Does your teen ever want to stay home? Or, when given a choice, would she rather stay with you or with other people she loves being with too? Does your teen want you around when out with other friends? Surprisingly, my daughter does. Our secret? We try to keep her happy in the home but always tell her how to behave by herself. We do things together as a family even if sometimes we have to do sacrifices to do so.



I find it so hard to ask my daughter to leave the house even when sometimes it is already necessary to. She says she wants to stay home and would rather ask her friends to come over to spend time with her. They enjoy being here. Most of the time I create an activity for them. When she was young, I used to hire movies, arrange for them to be brought to the park to play or make them cook up something - a bread, pizza, etc.

We were at the mall the other day because she and her friends asked me to go with them to watch a movie. I didn't want to go actually but she gave me a long face and a pout and her friends kept texting too to ask me to join them. Thus last Friday, I found my self seated on the 3rd row of the MarketMarket cinema with 5 happy-go-lucky, boisterous yet funny teenagers. What's more is that they're all excited to come over to the house because I told them they could visit and cook taco with me.




But then, there's no substitute to keeping them under control by disciplining my daughter and her friends too. At one point, I told them the value of friendship and how each one should take care of each other. It's unusual for kids their age to sit and listen to everything an adult tells them. But, if you speak their language, they'll lend you an ear.


Most of her friends are from her swim team. Her dad and I make it a point to befriend the parents of her teammates and organize parties and gatherings so they could get together.



Thus in disciplining the teen, you have to be the boss. But you have to earn their respect so that they will allow you to be the boss. In our family, we always consult each one and tell of the consequences of our choices. That way, we are aware of what may result from ur choices. And yes, my daughter's decision is pretty much part of that process.

Standing Firm on My Beliefs

Being an independent minded person is both a blessing a curse. You do what is right but in the process you hit hard on those that get in the way.

During a competition that we recently had, I had to handle the encoding of entries up to the tabulation of the results. My dilemma was that my daughter who was one of the swimmers was erroneously (by accident or by choice)entered in the level lower than what she really is in. During a prior competition she had earned a silver medal which entitled her to a promotion to the next level - from D to C. Now, having competed with the same girls unknowingly, she naturally won the gold. But as I had encountered her name and noticed the error, you can imagine how my thoughts raised. I could just let it pass without anyone noticing. Anyway, it wasn't really my fault that it happened. And my daughter was already rejoicing over the fact that she had taken the top spot in that category. It would be easy to ignore. But I couldn't let her win, Not if she didn't deserve to.

I had been in a consistent battle with the coaches just to let them know about the errors and dishonesty they had been practicing. This one might have been deliberately placed there. We had already issued the reclassification based on the results of the prior swimming competition and anyone could justhave checked her name out and seen it. But no, noone actually cared to check but I. And it did bother me.

Of course she didn't get any medal for that event. She did from other events even when I actually corrected her level. After all, the basis is her swimming time. But I had to tell her why she didn't get that one medal which caused her the trophy she wanted. 3 gold medals would have earned her a trophy. she only got 2. But when she heard my side of the story, she was so proud of me. Virtues can be taught best by experience.

Child Stress

My daughter had to submit her assignment last monday. It was an oratorical piece on "The Youth of Today in a Fast-Paced World". To help her without depriving her of the chance to develop her own writing skill, I asked her to writer her own version and I'd write mine. After that, we'd just fuse both materials together.

As I was working on merging our works, I realized just how stressful it is to be a child nowadays. Demands from both school and home have deprived my child of her youth. Clearly, it is a result of being goal-oriented and the drive to excel in everything that she does.

Stress leads to many wrong things - mentally, physically, socially, etc. It would be unfair to expose the children to so much at a young age. gradually would be better.

What am I saying? well, it's just that our children need our love, support and time. But above those, they also need time to be themselves, to be children, to be carefree and be with friends.

I'm glad Ikee has that with her friends from her swimming team. Perhaps, I should just give her more time to spend with them.

Hey Baby! David's On. - Keeping the Communication Lines Open

Tonight, I and my daughter watched the American Idol together. It was fun doing that with her. I surfed and did some of my blogs in between commercial breaks. After each break though, she'd shout "Mom, It's David!".

As we were doing her scoliosis exercises (?), we discussed about the show, how we both like David Cook and how she wanted Shaeesha to win but didn't make it. Then, we went to the conclusion that we enjoy talking to each other and how other mothers and daughters would rather talk to other people than themselves.

The secret is to have an open communication and to make your daughter know that she can really tell you anything anytime.

This is one of the activities that you can do with your child too. Another is to be able to make a story. You and your daughter or son can both contribute to the story line about maybe a family. There are values that you can inject and your child can discuss it with you. We did that one time and she's now asking that we do another story. It's fun! Maybe we'll do one with David Cook in it.

How Did You Take it The First Time Your Daughter Went Out With Her Friends

We Filipinos are known to be so protective of our children. Oftentimes, it is misinterpreted as being control-freakish.

For the really protective type, hearing a daughter ask permission to go on a four-some will sort of create a little panic. But not for me. I've conditioned myself a long time ago that sooner or later she'll have to learn to do things on her own. That includes going to the mall with her friends. But I was worried with her dad. He was not the type who'd let her daughter explore on her own. He was jittery the first time I asked her to go to her Kumon center by herself and it is barely a kilometer away from the house. As for myself, I was worried when he let her cross the street the first time. Hehehe I guess that's how it is for only-childs.

To my surprise, neither of us gave a grim reaction to her proposal. She was going to the mall and all I asked were "when" "what time" "who's going" and then the "ok" came after it. Her dad just said "poor you. why did they ask you to buy them starbucks?" and he instructed her to withdraw money from her account and he'd just pay her after.

Really, from experience and from observing other friends, the more we parents prevent the children from doing something, the more they go against our will. We should just learn to let them discover and just guide them when they do. I believe that is the hardest part of it all, huh?